And the world said hey - it's a brand new day

Do you ever look in the mirror and see a different person than what other people see?

I see a heart shaped face, others see a treble chin. I see a waist line, Other Half sees the meeting point between 2 rolls of fat. I see a voluptuous figure, everyone else would see a blob.

I don’t think I’m delusional – it’s more that I don’t recognise the person I’ve become. Supersize. Obese, actually probably morbidly obese. I don’t want to be fat and I really don’t want the health complications that go along with it – which fortunately I’ve avoided to date. I also don’t want to be skinny – just somewhere in the middle.

I’ve put on around half a stone a year ever since I left home 20 years ago. I’m certainly not the woman OH married or the young mother who produced 2 lively little girls. Somewhere along the road I’ve lost ‘me’ and now it’s my time ..... to re-emerge as the butterfly from its rather generous chrysalis!

I’ve enrolled at Slimming World, I have a leader, support group, initial target and the will to succeed.

I’m going to say it out loud – or rather write it for all to see – I weight 20 st and 5lbs – I wear size 24 clothes. (Measurements to follow) I know this is a bit mawkish and a bit sideshow of the freaks, but if I don’t say it out loud and address the true horror of the situation it will never change.

At 42 and fat (can’t dress it up – I am fat) I am now in the category of risk for cancer, heart attack, diabetes, stroke, I say this as my mantra to keep me going when I don’t want to exercise “cancer, heart attack, diabetes, stroke, cancer, heart attack, diabetes, stroke” – reality is a great cheerleader.

I need to beat the yo-yo diet cycle, get over the belief that it’s 6 months until Christmas parties or x months until a wedding/christening/holiday and just get it done – enough.

So this is my intro – welcome to my fat world – my pledge is to do my best and to blog about it every day.